Friday, July 4, 2008

We interrupt this program

I think we're going to go in the "maximized program" direction a la Miss Cream Puff (except without sewing, as hilarity and subsequent tears would be inevitable), because there are many little things I'd like to explain about the wedding. I feel like the program is a way to do that somewhat concisely, without getting didactic in the ceremony.

Among them:
  • Jewish customs and traditions
  • readings/poems that won't make it into the ceremony but are nonetheless special to us
  • the point of the allium and fiddleheads, which will be screened onto ties and shawls for the wedding party
  • remembrances of my grandparents, and perhaps short explanations of how they're incorporated
  • the usual info about wedding party, etc.
  • and this...

Well, not that picture. But I would like to say something about marriage equality, as this is a very important topic to both of us. We lived in Boston at the time of the Goodridge decision (actually the same neighborhood the Goodridge family was from), and we're proud to have been so close to such a major part of history for gay rights in the US. 

The subject is definitely important enough to me to incorporate it into the ceremony text, but I wonder if it might be better to put it in the program where people might look at it later and give it more thought. Also, although I do have major problems with the idea that some of my friends (unlikely) or my parents' friends (maybe more likely) don't feel the same way we do, I certainly don't want to alienate them by making the ceremony a political forum. That was always a really frustrating thing for me at Oberlin's Jewish events: somehow, the very socially and politically active student body managed to make Shabbat about women's rights and the plight of the homeless. I'm equally concerned about these matters, but despite that, it wasn't the appropriate place.

Most Jewish events at my alma mater  source

Perhaps we could put it into our vows, though. Do you have any ideas of how to do this elegantly?

These issues aside, I'm still not sure about a much less heavy thing: what I want our programs to look like. The photo at the top has been my inspiration for a while, but I'm not sure how much paper will fit into it. As you've likely figured out by now, I can go a little overboard with the words. These gorgeous books from Etsy's Littleput Books have the same problem. But they sure are pretty... maybe it's just that the ribbons match our colors *exactly*:

How can I create something with my rudimentary crafting skills that would support several pages (maybe brown kraft paper?) and incorporate a pretty colored ribbon? What about a grommet at the top with a ribbon holding the pages together? Please help a girl out!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. It is an association that promotes a way of life, not causes; a harmony in living, not political faiths; a bilateral loyalty, not commercial or social projects.

Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition. Tangible as well as intangible benefits flow from marriage. The benefits accessible only by way of a marriage license are enormous, touching nearly every aspect of life and death.

It is undoubtedly for these concrete reasons, as well as for its intimately personal significance, that civil marriage has long been termed a civil right.”

According to Loaf's blog, Tales of a Female Husband, this is a quote from the Massachsetts decision. I like it because it would be a legal text in the wedding ceremony -- just a little off-beat. And it never mentions the word gay or LGBT, so it may be subtle enough to strike the balance you are looking for.

Also, Off-beat Bride has an entire group dedicated to brides incorporating marriage rights into their ceremony or reception.