leave me unprotected, please.

Copy this sentence into your blog if you're in a heterosexual marriage, and you don't want it "protected" by people who think GLBT marriage hurts it somehow.

(Thanks, Stinkerpants!)

www.noon8.org

Don't know where to vote?

first teaser (b&w)

First, I must say again that I am so in love with our photographer and her assistant (& boyfriend), Laura Kozlowski and Peter Ozolins. They had the perfect temperament for us - very chill, definitely not hyper, but still great about getting people revved up for a good photo and about sticking to a schedule - and they take beautiful photos. They're the same two who took our awesome engagement photos. 

Despite some holdups that made them get to the Inn at the requested time but not come upstairs to do the end-of-getting-ready pics I had asked for, they stayed beyond the contracted amount of time, partied with us a little bit, and seemed to genuinely get along with our friends, which is pretty awesome.

So here's the first teaser Laura sent me this morning. It's b&w, so you can't see my dress yet in its full splendor, but I love the vintage-y look of the shot. I also love the slightly suspicious expressions on our faces... you can tell that we're both a little uncomfortable, and I think that's good. It's the real deal.

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that's it!

DESPITE both of us having horrible colds; our cat giving my a four-inch long set of bloody scratches on my upper chest, right on the skin exposed by my V-neck dress; a somewhat overzealous/overexcited flower girl telling the photographers I was having a "moment" (with a motion toward her head) and that they couldn't go upstairs to take getting-ready pictures (resulting in their sitting around for ~45 minutes when the bridesmaids and I were getting ready sans photos, and all other pre-ceremony activities getting pushed back enough that it felt more stressful than it would have otherwise); and two friends/colleagues showing up with their not-invited 13-year-old-son...

...it was amazing.

Certainly didn't start that way, I must say. I really don't want to be that person telling you about how it started SO bad and ended SO great, because it really didn't start THAT bad. It was just kind of waking up on the wrong side of the bed, which is a wedding-day bummer, I'd venture to say. I woke up yesterday feeling absolutely horrendous, which made me really sad... definitely not that first-day-of-school feeling (yes, I'm a nerd). Our rehearsal dinner and welcome party were a lot of fun, but I was already feeling pretty sick and wasn't feeling much like socializing. My outfit was a hit, though! :-) The food at Maxie's was SO great (fried green tomatoes!!!), and Tim had the brilliant idea of using some of my painstakingly decorated jelly jars as decoration there, since there weren't centerpieces. (They have awesome lamps and ceiling decorations, and the food was family-style so big centerpieces would've been annoying.) It was wonderful and made for really nice ambiance.

At home, we had WAY too much food and drink, but oh well! now we have leftovers. Our next-door neighbors, whom we don't know very well but whom we had had apprised of the party a few days earlier (and I got to hold Sydney, their 3-month-old kitten!!), brought over an absolutely incredible cake she made for us. It was a HUGE round chocolate cake with a kind of cream cheese frosting, with piped words like "love," "forgiveness," and "understanding" (and more creative ones I can't think of right now) on the side. It was such a beautiful gesture that really meant a lot to us, especially because we haven't talked to them a whole lot... it feels like a fresh start. :-)  (Not that we had any bad blood, but they're just really shy, and so is Tim, and... I'm just out of town all the time. :-P )

So anyway, my mom did a great job of shooing people out, even though Tim didn't totally understand why people had to leave. (Boys.) Two of his groomsmen stayed and drank scotch until about 1, which was totally fine... I went to sleep and couldn't hear them at all.

But in the morning, I felt like such absolute shit that I didn't know how I was going to get through the day. I woke up around 9 and started getting ready (whaaaaa? 9?! a bride?!? waking up at NINE on her wedding day?!?!?!), but Tim was still sleeping. We needed to leave at 10:15 to get to the Inn in time to meet the wedding party. Needless to say, with him getting up at 9:50, that didn't happen.

It was fine. We dealt. I was bitchy to the wedding party, especially since I was losing my voice and two of the guys were talking & fussing with paper lanterns when I was trying to explain something and be heard. I believe my exact words were "[cat hissing noise]." That is not an exaggeration.

I think that's about enough for now. Hopefully I'll get some teaser pics from Laura in the next few days so I can do a little more recapping - meanwhile, I'll work on feeling better! But for now I'll say this: I knew things would perk up, and they most certainly did. Here's what started the perking up (sorry, these are cell phone pics of the bouquet as it looks in my kitchen right now):

wedding week quickie #2

I finished the escort charts and am happy with them! They took a lot longer than I expected, mostly because I wanted the sandwich boards to have the names listed alphabetically on both sides, and I ended up wiping off a lot of names several times when I realized I hadn't planned it right. That's all very boring. What's more interesting are the details:

• 3 wood-framed sandwich boards from eBay (contact me if you want more info) for about $20 each, including shipping - We can spray chalkboard paint on them afterwards and use them again (Tim will use them to advertise his Cornell concerts).
  
• White and assorted colored paint pens from Michaels (used on all table number chalkboards and the millions of chalkboards that are all over the wedding)
• 4-5 hours of repeating MSNBC shows (Rachel Maddow, Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews). Chris Matthews NEEDS to stop interrupting people. I'm terrible about interrupting. But he just sounds drunk and annoying, and I usually don't, I think.

In any case, I'm pretty happy with how the charts turned out. I could have done them more neatly, and I also could have been more patient when my white paint pens started to crap out on me, choosing to wait to finish until I could get new ones tomorrow. But I really wanted to get this done, so whatever. It looks like a farmers' market and it's imperfect and fine. I'm cool with that. I think the script/cursive/whatever you want to call it is a little hard to read, but Tim tells me it's fine. So good.

I don't have the energy or ambition to blur out all the names, but I took it with Mac PhotoBooth and am leaving it backwards. I'm pretty sure you can't read it anyway. If you're offended, let me know. I'll decide if I still like you.

quickie

Thank you all [again] for your sweet comments. All is well and my dress is great. Marilyn did an AMAZING job, and I'm pretty stoked.

Off to make the table charts...

xoxo!

mallblograt (warning: vent. with no pictures. read at your own risk.)

I had a rehearsal in Syracuse this morning (10-12:30) and have a concert tonight (8pm). Ithaca is 70 minutes away, and it didn't really make sense to drive back despite how much stuff I have to do. I brought my computer and the paper for the programs, fully intending to find a Kinko's - oh excuse me, FedEx Office - and FINALLY copy the program that I've been putting off for weeks.

Instead, I ended up at the mall. It's a much bigger, much nicer mall than anything close to Ithaca, and I have no problem admitting that I love me a mall. Yes, it's a little depressing, and yes, a lot of stuff looks the same, but I love feeling anonymous - it's especially great going to a mall somewhere you don't live, for that reason! I went to the Apple Store and got my computer looked at (I need more RAM), got Tim some stripy wedding socks with red and purple in them, a $10 pretty green silk sleeveless top from Old Navy, and some yummy-smelling foaming liquid soaps from Bath & Body Works. I'm a total sucker for those soaps. When I got here, I thought it would be awesome to go to a movie (Rachel Getting Married!) and really take the afternoon off if I was indeed going to avoid doing the programs, but nothing there appealed. So I walked until my feet hurt, got cranky looking at Macy's because there's so much shit in there and just generally WAY too much merchandise - it feels like a discount store since they bought out all those other stores, though some of their stores are better than others and this one SUCKS - and got myself an oven-roasted chicken breast sub on honey wheat with spinach, tomatoes, green peppers, spicy mustard, and Swiss cheese. From Subway. I'm not sure why I'm telling you this.

Anyway, I had a minor breakdown last night. For a while now, I've been panicking about my dress. I haven't wanted to admit it (to myself or anyone else), but I was really, really unhappy with how my dress looked when I left Seattle. It was like Chrissy just didn't understand my body. I'm not going to get into all the ins and outs of what was wrong with it, but I did feel like I was pretty clear about what I wanted, and I *KNOW* my measurements were correct, and honestly... she just fucked up. Like, it was several inches too short, it was too small and very awkward-fitting in the boobs, and it just did. not. fit. She worked really hard over the few days we were there to fix it, but I guess she just didn't have enough time to do a really careful job of it - she had machine-sewed a lot of parts that Marilyn (Milwaukee seamstress) ended up taking apart and hand-sewing so they'd look better, and there were some seams in really funky places (like the front middle, on the extra sheer fabric she had to add because she messed up the height/length measurement). I'm lucky that Marilyn was able to do a lot of great work on it, but I still don't have the dress. And it's stressing me out that I won't be able to try it on until Monday, when my mom gets into town. I'm having visions of having to rush-order five dresses from Nordstrom or Bloomingdale's or something, and hope that one fits. I think it'll be "fine," but everyone wants her dress to be better than "fine," right? I mean, even if it fits, it's still not exactly what I envisioned, and it's a bummer that I have this custom-made dress that's just not the perfect dress. Sigh.

So anyway, I was trying to revise seating/table assignments. I had them all done with mostly tables of 7/8/9/10, and those #s all go at the same size oblong table. 9 or 10 is a squeeze. Then we have ONE table of 6, which is round. The thing that bugs me is that we only have 100 guests, so 12 somewhat crowded tables in a fairly spacious room looks and feels strange. I decided that I wanted more 6-person tables. But I really liked the tables as they were, socially speaking. So I was freaking out. And I had only slept 5-6 hours two nights in a row, plus driven 2.5 hours both days, which for me is an absolutely disastrous combination. Tim was sitting there watching me come unraveled, and he offered to do the seating assignments - but he was just like, "oh, just take one couple from each of 3 tables and stick them together." AAAGGHHHHH!!!!! You can't do that!!! I can't even imagine. (Anyway, he took the papers away from me and was dealing with it today. We'll see how that goes.)

So when I panicked about that, I was like, "you want to see something I'm *really* worried about?" and showed him the post with the pics of me in my dress. I know, I know, curses!!! But I wanted to show him that I'm not being *completely* irrational (or maybe get a little encouragement that it's not as bad as I've been thinking it is). He was honest and said he thinks it's cool but will look much better when it fits better, and was really sweet about saying, "well, it's not like I saw 'your' dress - 'your' dress will fit you differently. It's different." Somehow that made me feel a little better.

But honestly, what I really need is several good nights' sleep, and I wish I just didn't have so much going on right now. I have 5 hours of teaching before driving to play tomorrow night's concert, and then drive to frickin' Geneva on Sunday to play a runout concert. And then my mom comes on Monday, which will not exactly bring calm to the masses despite helping out a tremendous amount. I guess this is what happens. Coffee is a good thing. (On that note, let's all thank my cousin for the amazing coffee she gave me...)

Ooh, I lied - I can give you some pictures: my rehearsal dinner dress, which fits me much better than my wedding dress, and the necklace I'm wearing with it. I love that the necklace is so busy and crazy but totally contained to the pendant, and I love the colors. And that it has silver and gold. Love it. I think I'm going to wear my knee-high brown suede boots that have beige stitching at the seams.

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Craftiness

I promise to take bunches of pictures this weekend and upload them. I know, that's incredibly lame of me. Tim has been hard at work making more adorable cartoons for our table numbers, as well as constructing our chuppah. I worked last night on the program and keep forgetting to take it to Kinko's (duh). I also finished up the photo display and attached all the pictures to twine with those impossibly cute mini clothespins that break when your hands are too big and clumsy (oops). And I did one trial of a ribbon (beribboned!) bouquet decoration, and made a ribbon crown for our flower chick to which some flowers will be added.

Right now, though, I'm going to eat, practice, and sleep. I start my new job with the Syracuse Symphony tomorrow - good timing, huh?

I'll leave you with the forecast that got my week off to a great start. It's nominally better now, and will undoubtedly change 10 more times over the next 10 days:

People, please. It's October. Are you trying to recreate this?

Beribboned

Do you have certain words that you only saw in books, mispronounced in your head, and now have a hard time pronouncing correctly? For my mom, one of those words is "idiosyncrasy" - she apparently thought it was "ih-dee-AHZ-nih-cra-zee" when she was a kid. (Two little letters get innocently inverted and look what happens.) Now she just mispronounces it to be funny.

"Beribboned" is one of those words for me. I always thought it was "BERRY-boned." Haha!! Fortunately for me, it's not a word that generally comes up in daily conversation.

Anyway, right now I do want to talk about ribbons, and I have a DIY question for you. I love the look of the ribbons on this Ariella Chezar bouquet:

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But I don't want to ask Audrey, who's doing our flowers, to do it - I'm already adding more work than I had originally asked her to do. Also... I can't cede power to anyone when I have a really clear idea of what I want. (The truth hurts.) So I was thinking - I have all this ribbon, champagne and bronze and ivory. I think those colors would look so pretty with the dark, jewel-toned flowers we're going to have. I'd like to make the ribbon cascades (for each of the bridesmaids and for myself) beforehand, and I don't think it'll be that hard once I figure out a method. 

So... what should I use to hold them all together? I was thinking of using plain elastic, about 1/2 inch wide. I could staple? glue? each ribbon to the elastic, covering the elastic itself and overlapping each other so the final product is really voluminous. Then the whole thing can be tied around the bouquet.

Any suggestions? Has anyone done something like this before?

Bridesmaid swag

Ladies (M, C, G, & H!), if you want to be surprised, stop reading NOW!!!

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Now that they're out of the way, let's begin.

I have a maid of honor and three bridesmaids. I'll just provide short introductions, because I'll be honest - I get really bored reading about other people's friends. 

Melissa, my maid of honor, has been my best friend since the summer before 6th grade. We've been through everything together. She is a much-loved elementary school orchestra teacher in Milwaukee (Shorewood actually) and is getting married in April! By that time I'll be her matron of honor.  :-P  Hate that term...

Christine (Chrissy) is a very close friend from middle/high school. She's a violist like me (though she played violin when we were in school together and switched about 6-7 years ago) and is getting her doctorate in viola performance at UW-Madison. She just got bangs and looks awesome. :-)

Gabby is a friend from grad school in Boston, though it's hard to believe we only met 6 years ago. We became friends really quickly, and we've been on many work-related trips together (Leipzig, Lucerne, Montgomery...). She's a phenomenal violinist who freelances in Boston and all over the world. We wear the same shade of makeup, which proves that we are sisters.

Hillary was there the night Tim and I met! We shared scorpion bowls at the Kong (website = much classier than restaurant). She's a really talented and creative composer who does a lot with electronics, and she's written pieces for Tim, me, and us as a duo. She also plays violin and is a great improvisor. She's working on her doctorate in composition at Harvard. (Tim and I often spend holidays with her amazing family in Maine.)

These amazing women are always there for me. They are really my friends for life. I really wanted to make up for the times that I haven't been able to buy them birthday/Xmas presents, or that I've been so busy I haven't made time for them. Basically, I wanted to get them really personal gifts that show them how much they mean to me. I got each of them a few of the same gifts but tried to personalize them, and then I got each one something personal.

OK, are you four still reading? Go away!!!

Ahem.

Now.

The first thing I bought for each of them (and each of the four groomsmen) is actually something Hillary gave me last Xmas in Maine. (Yes, I'm Jewish, but it was given to me on December 25!) It is seriously the BEST travel item I've ever owned, and since all four of them travel a lot, I thought it was perfect. Hillary's was lost with her luggage a year or so ago, so I know she doesn't have one anymore even though she's a diehard LL Bean Mainer!

L.L. Bean personal organizer

Each one of them will get the large size in a different color (well, two are getting purple), and the guys each get a medium black one (along with some other stuff).

Then I found some awesome pendants on Etsy, made with antique lace - each one is slightly different:

from Etsy seller WanderLustre, who even sent an extra pendant for me!! I also got matching silver rope chains for each one (from someone else), though unfortunately I didn't spring for very nice ones... so they kind of rip your hair out.  :-(

Each of them will get a silk shawl to match their dress (two are wearing berry, and two are wearing eggplant... both food colors! hee hee), silkscreened by Jes with the allium/fiddlehead graphic. I don't have pics of those yet, but the shawls are a pinky-champagne color, and the ink is the color of each dress.

Then I tried to think of something each of them would need/want that's not music-related. That's hard, because although they have diverse interests, I know them first and perhaps best as musicians.

But Chrissy loves to cook:

All-Clad measuring spoons

Gabby mentioned in passing that she really wanted a new ring to replace the one she's worn for years:

"slender water ring" from Etsy seller JSurine

Hillary loves snowflakes and snow, and she even has a snowflake tattoo:

Demeter Fragrance Library "Snow"

and Melissa has a Labradoodle, Sophie, who is her pride and joy:

gift certificate to Metropawlis in Milwaukee, their fave pet store... I wanted to get Sophie a new collar (I generally really don't like gift certificates), but Melissa's mom told me Sophie is *very* particular!

I'm curious - if you had/have a wedding party, what did you do to thank them? Did you buy all of them the same thing, or did you find specific things that you knew each one would love?

Hello!

Hey everybody, and welcome! Although I'm bummed about the reason I'm suddenly getting more traffic, I'm thrilled that you're here and hope you decide to stick around. Since I'm only 3 weeks away from my wedding, this blog will soon morph into (wife.) - craziness! But I hope I can be funny and interesting and irreverent enough to keep your interest. And thank you SO much for all your comments and support yesterday. I'm really glad so many of us are feeling the same way about the situation and can create a new kind of community.

I'm just back in my hotel room for a little while between a dress rehearsal and the opening of EMPAC (check out the slide show!) in Troy, NY. It's truly one of the most incredible concert halls I've ever seen and had the privilege to perform in, and it's a fantastic thing for the Albany area. I'm so excited to be playing with ICE tonight and tomorrow at the venue's gala opening. I have to go don my velvet fanciness (it's cold here!) and make pretty, but I'll be back soon with more weddingy goodness.

This flat-out sucks.

Weddingbee was sold to eHarmony.

I don't know what else to say except that I'm really pissed off right now. I unsubscribed from Weddingbee in my Google Reader a few weeks ago for a number of reasons (mostly that I just wasn't that interested anymore, and the increasing number typos/misspellings/malapropisms really got to me), but I continued to sneak in once a day to feed my addiction. No more.

It's interesting that I read that post immediately after reading this (and all related comments). There are plenty of bloggers (wedding-related and otherwise) out there (here, here and here) whom I relate to much more than some of the new Bees, and with 24 days left until I'm married, I can do without the 'bee.

edited to remove links to Weddingbee, so eHarmony doesn't get lots of extra hits. Blech.