We interrupt this program

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I think we're going to go in the "maximized program" direction a la Miss Cream Puff (except without sewing, as hilarity and subsequent tears would be inevitable), because there are many little things I'd like to explain about the wedding. I feel like the program is a way to do that somewhat concisely, without getting didactic in the ceremony.

Among them:

• Jewish customs and traditions
  
• readings/poems that won't make it into the ceremony but are nonetheless special to us
  
• the point of the allium and fiddleheads, which will be screened onto ties and shawls for the wedding party
  
• remembrances of my grandparents, and perhaps short explanations of how they're incorporated
  
• the usual info about wedding party, etc.
  
• and this...
  

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Well, not that picture. But I would like to say something about marriage equality, as this is a very important topic to both of us. We lived in Boston at the time of the Goodridge decision (actually the same neighborhood the Goodridge family was from), and we're proud to have been so close to such a major part of history for gay rights in the US. 

The subject is definitely important enough to me to incorporate it into the ceremony text, but I wonder if it might be better to put it in the program where people might look at it later and give it more thought. Also, although I do have major problems with the idea that some of my friends (unlikely) or my parents' friends (maybe more likely) don't feel the same way we do, I certainly don't want to alienate them by making the ceremony a political forum. That was always a really frustrating thing for me at Oberlin's Jewish events: somehow, the very socially and politically active student body managed to make Shabbat about women's rights and the plight of the homeless. I'm equally concerned about these matters, but despite that, it wasn't the appropriate place.

Most Jewish events at my alma mater  source

Perhaps we could put it into our vows, though. Do you have any ideas of how to do this elegantly?

These issues aside, I'm still not sure about a much less heavy thing: what I want our programs to look like. The photo at the top has been my inspiration for a while, but I'm not sure how much paper will fit into it. As you've likely figured out by now, I can go a little overboard with the words. These gorgeous books from Etsy's Littleput Books have the same problem. But they sure are pretty... maybe it's just that the ribbons match our colors *exactly*:

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How can I create something with my rudimentary crafting skills that would support several pages (maybe brown kraft paper?) and incorporate a pretty colored ribbon? What about a grommet at the top with a ribbon holding the pages together? Please help a girl out!

Independence

First off, I'm sorry for the light posting this week. We're in Maine right now, where I just played what might have been my last-ever concert with the Portland Symphony Orchestra.

It feels a little weird that the last tune we played was "Stars and Stripes Forever," but oh well.

Watch this video of the Boston Pops' version, and make sure to note how drunk the entire audience is: http:/youtube.com/watch?v=p3lGr6Cx6pQ&feature=related

Anyway, we're staying at our bridesmaid Hillary (aka Coach Z)'s mom's house, where we're spending the 4th. I'll have lots to blog about come Saturday, I'm sure.

Z

Happy long weekend, everyone!

Picture-less post

Tim is sleeping next to me somewhat peacefully right now, and my brain is going into overdrive. 

Since Tim returned from Ghana (two weeks ago), things have been pretty tense. We've been arguing a lot, spending more time on our computers than usual, and just generally not getting along. I know that part of the problem is the letdown he's feeling after a big, amazing trip, but there's more to it than that. 

He doesn't want to have a wedding.

Now, I didn't say he doesn't want to get married--it isn't that dire--and he also hasn't said outright that this is how he feels. But the Google reader, the indiebride, the wedding-related shopping, the overheard phone calls with my mom and my MOH, and yes, the blogging--they're all driving him nuts, not to mention the wacked-out sleep schedule (3AM to noon) I've been on since the beginning of June.

When we started talking more concretely about getting married, we had "the talk" about the wedding. Tim isn't in touch with his family (a long, sad series of events that have left him scarred but better off), and he doesn't have a lot of close friends. He's painfully, painfully shy. I'm sympathetic to these things and try to be understanding, but it sometimes becomes exhausting. I'm not saying that it's right for me to be exhausted by it - it's just reality.

I, on the other hand, have a small but close-knit family and many, many friends I consider close. I want them to be there. I've never been an envision-my-wedding kind of girl, but I've always known I wanted to have one. I assumed until fairly recently that I'd get married in Milwaukee (where I grew up), with 200+ of mostly-my-parents' friends, in a synagogue.

All three of those things were understandably difficult for Tim: a Milwaukee wedding would seem "mine" rather than "ours," and it had the potential to highlight the absence of his family; his shyness means that crowds (especially ones filled with a lot of strangers) are petrifying; and since he's atheist, a synagogue isn't exactly the most comfortable place for him. He knew that it's important to my family and me to be married by a rabbi, though, and that part of it was not as alarming as a rabbi and a synagogue.

The move to Ithaca changed my mind about location. I fell in love with Ithaca life immediately and could easily picture getting married there. I started to think about it more seriously and realized that if we chose to marry in Ithaca, a lot of my parents' friends would elect to stay home, making the guest list more manageable and intimate. I casually mentioned it to Tim a few times, and he seemed to warm up to the idea. Problems 1 and 2, gone.

I'm not sure if I mentioned yet that we started planning our wedding before there was a ring on my finger, which was a little awkward but ultimately fine with me - after all, the pipe dream of getting married was becoming reality, and that's what mattered! We agreed to have a rabbi and found a beautiful venue where we could have both ceremony and reception. Problem 3, check.

But as planning quickly heated up, I realized that Tim was just not into it. In fact, it's starting to feel like he doesn't want to hear about ANY of it, even the things (music, food) he'd normally care about. My summer schedule is allowing me to sleep, relax, and read all the Weddingbee I want to - and I feel fine with that. He seems to think my lazy days are emblematic of a bigger problem, though, and it's starting to frustrate me. I'm fine! I just want to look at fonts! I've tried to impose computer time limits for myself, get out of the house together and take walks or go places, and spend more time cooking or watching movies together. 

He does have his assigned projects, but he hasn't had to start those yet. I'm not worried about his finishing them... it's just that I want him to nod and smile when I say something about embroidered handkerchiefs, rather than make snide comments about them.

I know many (most?) brides put up with apathetic fiances. But actively hostile? That seems to be a more serious issue.

If your partner isn't actively involved in the planning process, is s/he supportive of your excitement? Or is it excruciatingly difficult to get any sign of interest? Aside from having more late-night cryfests, how can I work on this?

Auspicious giglet

I just played a wedding gig - a very, very, VERY short ceremony at our venue, the Fontainebleau! Yep, I got to spy a little bit.

Since the ceremony was in Lawrence Chapel (on the grounds but a short walk away from the Inn) and we weren't hired to do the cocktail hour, I was sad I wouldn't have a chance to see the Inn "in action." But we got there a little early, and I walked around near the chapel to take a few pictures.

Post-ceremony: guests walking from Lawrence Chapel to the Inn.

As it happens, we're not using the chapel for our ceremony - there's no iconography or anything in there, but it's still a little too church-like for us (and probably our rabbi, too!). Our ceremony will be held on the tented patio at the Inn itself. The chapel is beautiful and simple, though, and these pictures give you a little sense of what the grounds feel like. 

The back of the Inn, facing Cayuta Lake. source

Our ceremony will be in the area on the right, but in an enclosed tent.

Here's the front of the chapel and a glimpse of the inside (I felt a little weird taking non-pro pics in there); the couple set out a basket of programs and cute wooden fans... it was SO hot!

There's a beautiful cemetery that belonged to the original owners of the home, the Lawrence family - it dates back about 200 years. At the entrance, I found several patches of wild strawberries!

After the ceremony, we drove past the main building, where I saw Kate from Word of Mouth (our caterers too!) grilling outside. I hopped out of the car to say hi, and she took me in for a quick glance at what the inside looked like "all done up." She also gave me a few tips on centerpieces, since she thought the centerpieces at this wedding were a little too big. Looks like I made a good choice going with the narrower boxes (even though I was just being cheap).  :-D

Tina and Katie: small on web presence, big on talent. source

I can't wait to see the Fontainebleau in the fall, since I've now visited in the three other seasons! I think the trees will be absolutely stunning. As a matter of fact...

The lake view from the Fontainebleau, 53 weeks prior to our wedding!

Have you had a chance to see your venue "in action," or will your wedding day be the first time?

To quote Tessie...

"Oh my goodness oh my goodness oh my goodness!!!!!!!!!!!"

("Pipe down, all of you. 

Do you want Hannigan to hear you?")

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poster source

I just got very excited.

Thanks to Suzanne at RedKite, I was directed to cakecentral.com for ideas and inspiration. I started browsing through their extensive photo gallery and came first upon this:

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Then this:

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And then...

wait for it....

ta dah!!!!!

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Notice anything? Like, that it's almost exactly the same as my inspiration photo... but a smidge different?

That's because the woman who baked these cupcakes got the recipe from Woman's Day magazine - they're from Karen Tack and Alan Richardson's collection of amazing recipes.

I actually looked at Hello Cupcake at a bookstore a few weeks ago and didn't see this recipe - either it's not included in the book, or I missed it in my haste to look through every cupcake book on the shelf. (There were a lot.)

Now for the bad (perhaps just... odd) news. Here are some of the key ingredients. Remember - chocolate cupcakes.

1 stick mint chewing gum

9 green fruit chews (Jolly Rancher)

1 vanilla fruit chew (Tootsie Roll Midgee, AirHeads)

4 red fruit chews (Jolly Rancher)

8 orange fruit chews (Starburst)

Green apple and watermelon AirHeads

Yeah.......... I think I might, um, stay with the original plan. Does your gut - so to speak - tell you anything about this project?

Inside the box

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This centerpiece inspiration from The Knot was similar to the cupcake decorations in that oh-my-goodness-how-could-my-wedding-exist-without-this? kind of way. Like the cupcake-veggies, I have searched high and low for shallow wood boxes like the inspiration photo. (The father and the groom of that bride made the boxes from scratch - lucky girl!) I love how understated they are, with the lantern giving it a little bit of height. I was thinking about 12"x12" would be great, though I don't really care if it's perfectly square, and I'll put 3 jelly jar votives on each table. The chalkboard table "numbers" will either lean on the corner of the box or get some height with a small dowel rod - I'm thinking that might be better, since the centerpieces are so low. I just don't want to commit the age-old sin of blocking guests' views of each other... I was at a wedding recently at which guests were taking the stunning but giant centerpieces off the tables! No, they weren't as big as this:

No thanks!  Source

One of the first promising finds I found (through Elizabeth Anne Designs!) was this BJURON "plant pot" from Ikea. The wood is pretty, and it has a galvanized bottom that makes it great for... well... plants. But it's taller and deeper than the inspiration, and the dimension options are approximately 6" x 6", 8" x 8", or 9.5" x 5". If it were either shallower *or* bigger, I might be happy with it, but it's just not the right feel.

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Then I found several things like this terra cotta plate. Terra cotta is also great for live plants, so they had that going for them. The color, though, could be kind of obtrusive with the purple/dark red/teal color scheme. I thought about painting them, but since they still were neither the shape nor the material I wanted, I kept looking.

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In my head, I had already ruled out Jamali Garden because of price or shipping distance, but it turns out I was totally wrong. Not only do they ship from NYC (4 hours from me - not too bad), their prices are actually pretty reasonable, especially for these wood trays that can be re-used by us and by guests. The wood is less distressed than I would have liked, but I think that makes them more usable in the future.

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I decided against the version that actually is 12" x 12" (my hoped-for dimensions - this one is 11" x 8") and has a galvanized liner, because it's twice as expensive. I know this choice limits my options as far as what to fill the tray with, but honestly, I'm sort of glad not to have to worry about growing stuff for the centerpieces given my black thumb. I'll fill them with different varieties of moss that comes pre-packaged, and that can all be assembled the week before the wedding. I'll probably stick a few flowers in there for color (with a little foam), some rocks, and/or a few pieces of fruit or veggies. When I'm home from my travels next month, I hope the trays will have arrived so I can do some mock-ups. 

What do you think? Any other ideas for low-maintenance, rustic fill, or for a way to create some textural variety with different mosses/similar materials? 

These are the lanterns I purchased from eBay seller K&R Gifts. I was thrilled with how meticulously they were packaged and how quickly they arrived, in perfect condition. I decided against the teal version because, even though it's so pretty and is in our color scheme, I thought the light from these would be a little nicer. I might buy a few of the teal ones to hang from shepherd's hooks near the ceremony tent.

I also purchased long-lasting, cleaner-burning soy tealights from Etsy seller Worthy Soy Candles (who only lives 80 minutes from me!), although I'm still thinking about going with LED votives for safety reasons. The candles are SO great and burn for such a long time that I'd be more than happy to have 100 for personal use were I to go with the LEDs.

Have you "cheated" on any of your original grand plans by taking an easier route? Do you deem yourself guilty or not guilty? (For the record, I plead not guilty. Anything that makes it easier/lower-maintenance but equally attractive is legal in my book!)

Beet it

After I wrote about the cake decoration issue the other day, I was inundated with responses to my Alchemy bid. OK, not inundated, maybe, but I did get at least eight responses. I thought that was pretty awesome!

The two that piqued my interest the most were wonderworks and BCDGifts. wonderworks' shop is all polymer clay miniatures that are colorful, detailed, and adorable. She wrote and said she could make the veggies I want out of gumpaste, which I know would be easy to mail, take color well, and last a few days without compromising its [somewhat marginal because gumpaste just is] taste. She assured me she could imitate with gumpaste anything she does with clay.

Adorable, right? The detail is amazing. source

BCDGifts' shop, on the other hand, is part crafts and part food. Most of the food work she does is chocolate, both milk/dark (normal brown color) and dyed white (bright colors). These would also last several days without worrying about taste, and it'll be cooler so we likely won't have to worry about melting.

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I'm not sure, though, which will complement Grandpa's beet cake more successfully. Even though I am a chocolate fiend and would certainly love the taste of it more, I wonder whether it would be overkill atop a beet cake cupcake. However, why should I compromise the taste?

Should I spend money to order samples from both sellers, or do you have an experience with either of these materials that would help me decide? Or since I'm sure some of you have already made the recipe :-) ...which do you think would taste better with beet cake?