Auspicious giglet

I just played a wedding gig - a very, very, VERY short ceremony at our venue, the Fontainebleau! Yep, I got to spy a little bit.

Since the ceremony was in Lawrence Chapel (on the grounds but a short walk away from the Inn) and we weren't hired to do the cocktail hour, I was sad I wouldn't have a chance to see the Inn "in action." But we got there a little early, and I walked around near the chapel to take a few pictures.

Post-ceremony: guests walking from Lawrence Chapel to the Inn.

As it happens, we're not using the chapel for our ceremony - there's no iconography or anything in there, but it's still a little too church-like for us (and probably our rabbi, too!). Our ceremony will be held on the tented patio at the Inn itself. The chapel is beautiful and simple, though, and these pictures give you a little sense of what the grounds feel like. 

The back of the Inn, facing Cayuta Lake. source

Our ceremony will be in the area on the right, but in an enclosed tent.

Here's the front of the chapel and a glimpse of the inside (I felt a little weird taking non-pro pics in there); the couple set out a basket of programs and cute wooden fans... it was SO hot!

There's a beautiful cemetery that belonged to the original owners of the home, the Lawrence family - it dates back about 200 years. At the entrance, I found several patches of wild strawberries!

After the ceremony, we drove past the main building, where I saw Kate from Word of Mouth (our caterers too!) grilling outside. I hopped out of the car to say hi, and she took me in for a quick glance at what the inside looked like "all done up." She also gave me a few tips on centerpieces, since she thought the centerpieces at this wedding were a little too big. Looks like I made a good choice going with the narrower boxes (even though I was just being cheap).  :-D

Tina and Katie: small on web presence, big on talent. source

I can't wait to see the Fontainebleau in the fall, since I've now visited in the three other seasons! I think the trees will be absolutely stunning. As a matter of fact...

The lake view from the Fontainebleau, 53 weeks prior to our wedding!

Have you had a chance to see your venue "in action," or will your wedding day be the first time?

To quote Tessie...

"Oh my goodness oh my goodness oh my goodness!!!!!!!!!!!"

("Pipe down, all of you. 

Do you want Hannigan to hear you?")

  quote source

poster source

I just got very excited.

Thanks to Suzanne at RedKite, I was directed to cakecentral.com for ideas and inspiration. I started browsing through their extensive photo gallery and came first upon this:

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Then this:

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And then...

wait for it....

ta dah!!!!!

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Notice anything? Like, that it's almost exactly the same as my inspiration photo... but a smidge different?

That's because the woman who baked these cupcakes got the recipe from Woman's Day magazine - they're from Karen Tack and Alan Richardson's collection of amazing recipes.

I actually looked at Hello Cupcake at a bookstore a few weeks ago and didn't see this recipe - either it's not included in the book, or I missed it in my haste to look through every cupcake book on the shelf. (There were a lot.)

Now for the bad (perhaps just... odd) news. Here are some of the key ingredients. Remember - chocolate cupcakes.

1 stick mint chewing gum

9 green fruit chews (Jolly Rancher)

1 vanilla fruit chew (Tootsie Roll Midgee, AirHeads)

4 red fruit chews (Jolly Rancher)

8 orange fruit chews (Starburst)

Green apple and watermelon AirHeads

Yeah.......... I think I might, um, stay with the original plan. Does your gut - so to speak - tell you anything about this project?

Inside the box

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This centerpiece inspiration from The Knot was similar to the cupcake decorations in that oh-my-goodness-how-could-my-wedding-exist-without-this? kind of way. Like the cupcake-veggies, I have searched high and low for shallow wood boxes like the inspiration photo. (The father and the groom of that bride made the boxes from scratch - lucky girl!) I love how understated they are, with the lantern giving it a little bit of height. I was thinking about 12"x12" would be great, though I don't really care if it's perfectly square, and I'll put 3 jelly jar votives on each table. The chalkboard table "numbers" will either lean on the corner of the box or get some height with a small dowel rod - I'm thinking that might be better, since the centerpieces are so low. I just don't want to commit the age-old sin of blocking guests' views of each other... I was at a wedding recently at which guests were taking the stunning but giant centerpieces off the tables! No, they weren't as big as this:

No thanks!  Source

One of the first promising finds I found (through Elizabeth Anne Designs!) was this BJURON "plant pot" from Ikea. The wood is pretty, and it has a galvanized bottom that makes it great for... well... plants. But it's taller and deeper than the inspiration, and the dimension options are approximately 6" x 6", 8" x 8", or 9.5" x 5". If it were either shallower *or* bigger, I might be happy with it, but it's just not the right feel.

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Then I found several things like this terra cotta plate. Terra cotta is also great for live plants, so they had that going for them. The color, though, could be kind of obtrusive with the purple/dark red/teal color scheme. I thought about painting them, but since they still were neither the shape nor the material I wanted, I kept looking.

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In my head, I had already ruled out Jamali Garden because of price or shipping distance, but it turns out I was totally wrong. Not only do they ship from NYC (4 hours from me - not too bad), their prices are actually pretty reasonable, especially for these wood trays that can be re-used by us and by guests. The wood is less distressed than I would have liked, but I think that makes them more usable in the future.

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I decided against the version that actually is 12" x 12" (my hoped-for dimensions - this one is 11" x 8") and has a galvanized liner, because it's twice as expensive. I know this choice limits my options as far as what to fill the tray with, but honestly, I'm sort of glad not to have to worry about growing stuff for the centerpieces given my black thumb. I'll fill them with different varieties of moss that comes pre-packaged, and that can all be assembled the week before the wedding. I'll probably stick a few flowers in there for color (with a little foam), some rocks, and/or a few pieces of fruit or veggies. When I'm home from my travels next month, I hope the trays will have arrived so I can do some mock-ups. 

What do you think? Any other ideas for low-maintenance, rustic fill, or for a way to create some textural variety with different mosses/similar materials? 

These are the lanterns I purchased from eBay seller K&R Gifts. I was thrilled with how meticulously they were packaged and how quickly they arrived, in perfect condition. I decided against the teal version because, even though it's so pretty and is in our color scheme, I thought the light from these would be a little nicer. I might buy a few of the teal ones to hang from shepherd's hooks near the ceremony tent.

I also purchased long-lasting, cleaner-burning soy tealights from Etsy seller Worthy Soy Candles (who only lives 80 minutes from me!), although I'm still thinking about going with LED votives for safety reasons. The candles are SO great and burn for such a long time that I'd be more than happy to have 100 for personal use were I to go with the LEDs.

Have you "cheated" on any of your original grand plans by taking an easier route? Do you deem yourself guilty or not guilty? (For the record, I plead not guilty. Anything that makes it easier/lower-maintenance but equally attractive is legal in my book!)

Beet it

After I wrote about the cake decoration issue the other day, I was inundated with responses to my Alchemy bid. OK, not inundated, maybe, but I did get at least eight responses. I thought that was pretty awesome!

The two that piqued my interest the most were wonderworks and BCDGifts. wonderworks' shop is all polymer clay miniatures that are colorful, detailed, and adorable. She wrote and said she could make the veggies I want out of gumpaste, which I know would be easy to mail, take color well, and last a few days without compromising its [somewhat marginal because gumpaste just is] taste. She assured me she could imitate with gumpaste anything she does with clay.

Adorable, right? The detail is amazing. source

BCDGifts' shop, on the other hand, is part crafts and part food. Most of the food work she does is chocolate, both milk/dark (normal brown color) and dyed white (bright colors). These would also last several days without worrying about taste, and it'll be cooler so we likely won't have to worry about melting.

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I'm not sure, though, which will complement Grandpa's beet cake more successfully. Even though I am a chocolate fiend and would certainly love the taste of it more, I wonder whether it would be overkill atop a beet cake cupcake. However, why should I compromise the taste?

Should I spend money to order samples from both sellers, or do you have an experience with either of these materials that would help me decide? Or since I'm sure some of you have already made the recipe :-) ...which do you think would taste better with beet cake?

Is it because I ate too close to bedtime?

Last night I dreamed that it was the day before the wedding and I hadn't chosen the music. For me, this qualifies as a nightmare. The (now) funniest part of it is that one of my bridesmaids, Gabby, was trying to convince me to use all sorts of music that was completely the opposite of what I want, and would have made Tim barf.

Not exactly what Gabby was suggesting, but close.

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I'll (grudgingly) admit it: we're music snobs. I'm terrified of the music I choose for our wedding saying something about me that isn't accurate. As performers, we both play a lot of new music, but I don't want to alienate our guests by choosing music that's hard to understand/enjoy on a first listening.* Tim, on the other hand, couldn't care less about alienating people... he thinks it would be funny. In fact, it's a running joke--rooted in reality, I'm afraid to say--that he wants our friend James to play at the wedding.

I adore James, and the theremin is awesome. However.

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It's the understatement of the century to say that we're incredibly lucky to have the Jupiter Quartet playing in our wedding. I mentioned Meg & Dan recently - they are a badass violinist and cellist, respectively, who play in one of the best young professional string quartets in the world. The violist is Meg's sister and my close friend Liz, and the first violinist is our good friend Nelson. The personal dynamic of the group is amazing. Playing in a quartet is often likened to being married to three other people (legally!), and somehow they make it work with one pair actually married to each other and another pair being siblings and best friends. Not only do they make it work (Tim Gunn-style) - they sound phenomenal.

They don't look bad, either. Here are the Jupiters caught in a rare moment of seriousness, though it does appear they're on the verge of laughter. source They usually look more like this.

The Quartet has an extremely demanding international tour schedule. As it happens, they're also playing at our very good friend Rebecca's wedding in September, and she went so far as to plan her wedding date around their schedule. I didn't think that far ahead! But I was on pins and needles while they waited to hear from their manager whether they'd be out of town for our wedding. I was ecstatic when I ran into them last month and they told me it was all good!

Some of the composers I've considered so far are Bartok, Britten, Debussy, Ives, and Ravel. I love their music and they all have string quartets, but I'm not sure it's appropriate for a wedding - even one with a less-than-traditional bride and groom.

What makes this less than traditional is that sadly, before our engagement pictures, almost all our photos together looked like this.

Do the two of you have differences in opinion over what music is appropriate for your wedding? Are you as petrified as I am about making the wrong choice?

*This kind of music is my favorite because it's thought-provoking and often (I hope) makes people want to hear it again, but guests at the wedding might not be inclined to take their program home and go buy a CD!

Cake quandary

Even before the market theme came to fruition (holy crap! I didn't even realize it was a pun until I proofread), one of my favorite ideas was to use my grandpa's chocolate beet cake recipe for our wedding cake.

That's right, everyone. Beets. I read somewhere that your wedding cake should be the best cake you've ever eaten, and this cake* takes the... well, you know. My grandpa has been making it for as long as I can remember, and it's the stuff of legend. And many a weekend breakfast at our family's house, I'm embarrassed to say.

I gave the recipe to our caterer soon after we booked them, because I mentioned it at our first meeting and they were very intrigued. They were even more excited when they found out it uses canned beets rather than fresh ones, significantly lowering the mess factor. My first thought was to make mini bundt cakes - my grandpa always makes the cake in a bundt pan. 

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But my life changed - seriously - when I found a certain picture, whose source I cannot find for the LIFE of me. I have become obsessed. 

With some brides, it's the Badgley Mischka dress. Others, the perfect pink peony. But me? For me, it's all about chocolate and mini shovels:

Is that not THE most perfect thing you could imagine for this wedding? I want to lick the screen every time I look at the picture.

 I really do have that impulse. What kind of deficiency is that?

A few things are complicating my mission, though. Our caterers are understandably wary of doing the vegetables because they'd be a totally time-consuming labor of love. I'd be happy to find another baker to do it, but there aren't that many options around here: one only decorates with fresh flowers, one is horrendously expensive, several won't use a family recipe - you get the picture. 

I wrote to Keavy from the fabulous Kumquat Cupcakery in Brooklyn, and she said she'd be happy to do it (and I think she'd do an amazing job), but with that option, one of our friends would have to drive them all the way from NYC. Stressful for everyone involved. I'm thinking of branching out to bakers in the Syracuse, Binghamton, and Rochester areas, but what I'd really like to do is have our caterers make the cupcakes or mini bundts and have someone else make the veggies - it would be so much less expensive! (I've looked online to purchase them, but the only things I can find are made of marzipan, which isn't my favorite.) I posted an Etsy Alchemy request and hope to hear something soon. Etsy don't fail me now...

Keavy's gorgeous creations. source

How far should I take this before I give up on it? Do you have one inspiration photo you've found, or one idea you've had, that you just can't let go of?

*Not my grandpa's recipe... that just wouldn't be fair. But it's close.

Grandparentage

My dad's mom, or "Gram," as my brother and I called her, passed away when I was 21. We had always been very close, and I went to visit her in San Diego every year in addition to her treks to the Midwest to see us. I have wonderful memories of my San Diego vacations and of my time with Gram, and it was really, really hard for me when she died - especially because I was just finishing the school year and couldn't be out in CA with my parents.

One of our yearly San Diego adventures - the  San Diego Zoo and Wild Animal Park! source

She and I had a lot in common - loves of reading, arguing, politics, Brahms, and Scrabble. Ohhhh the Scrabble games - she taught me a lot about strategy and two-letter words. I never got to meet Gramps, who died before I was born, but Gram and her later-life companion, Ernie, played VERY competitive Scrabble every night. In fact, sometimes they went to Elderhostels that were actually Scrabble tournaments! After she died - Ernie had died several years earlier - I inherited their well-worn Scrabble board and dictionary. In the Scrabble dictionary was a letter from Ernie that began "My Love" and proceeded to describe one of the tournaments in detail. It's simultaneously hilarious, adorable, and poignant - I still look at it sometimes.

Gram's favorite game - here are some of her most-used words.

One thing I loved about Gram (and admittedly resented sometimes) was her love of winning, and she wasn't about to let her granddaughter off the hook when playing Scrabble together. I vividly remember the only time I ever beat her - we were sitting at her dining room table, eating her favorite Trader Joe's blue corn chips and silently surveying the board. When I realized I was about to win, I got a little nervous that she was going to be mad. Well......... she might not have been mad per se, but we did have a pretty quiet evening after that!

I mentioned my idea of using French beaded flowers to incorporate my mom's mom's memory (Grandma) into the wedding; Grandpa (94 and still working 2 days a week) also recently gave me Grandma's beautiful ring to use as my wedding band. But I was struggling with a creative idea for Gram - I have her beautiful star opal/yellow gold engagement ring, but I already wear that a lot. Then I was reading this post from Offbeat Bride, and I thought, "Of course! I've seen these all over Etsy!"

sources: pendant 1, pendant 2

These charms are made from Scrabble tiles, and most sellers will work with you to incorporate your own picture. The photo side of the charm is covered with a sturdy, shiny resin. I think I'd like at least one of them - maybe a picture of Gram & Gramps, or separate pictures - to hang from my bouquet. I hope I can request specific letters so I can get her initials!

bouquet charm source

I know that some details like this will go unnoticed by most people, and that's why I love it: having that little secret makes me feel like my grandparents are there for me on our wedding day. Gram would have loved Tim, and it's always made me sad that they were never able to meet. This is a way for her to be there with the two of us... without Tim having to play Scrabble, which he hates. :-)

What creative and meaningful ways have you chosen to incorporate absent family & friends?

Looking for a sign

Our venue is way off the beaten path. Since most guests are coming from out of town (and many of the in-town guests haven't been there), some will be coming in shuttles and others will be driving rental cars. Getting there is fairly straightforward, but it's always good to have a little reinforcement. And the last time I drove out there, I discovered that I didn't get cell phone service for the last mile of the drive from Ithaca. Hmm...

So I'd like to greet our guests with rustic wood signs, kind of like these from the now-Mrs. Penguin of Weddingbee:

Should ours say Cathy + Mark, too?

I'm also interested in finding some vintage or vintage-looking "farmers' market" signs to put around the buffet tables and make our theme a little clearer:

source - looky what came up when I googled "farmers' market sign!"

Here's the problem: I'm totally fighting myself over the cuteness of the theme and Tim's and my aversion to all things cutesy. All right, that's a blatant lie. But I want our wedding to be special and sweet and unique, not cute.

This is SO up Tim's alley! (It might even be a little much for me...)

So I think I'll try my hand at some of the name/direction signs. What do you think about having one that says "T & W's farmers' market" or "T & W's market" near the food? Overboard? Help!

And while I'm here... how much of your wedding's "aesthetic" is yours, and how much is your S.O's? If s/he doesn't really care about creative input, are you taking tastes into consideration, or are you going with things *you* like?

glug glug glug

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A few weeks ago, when I was visiting my parents in Milwaukee, I was awakened by a crazy Midwestern thunderstorm that was so loud I couldn't fall back asleep. So I did what any normal woman would do at 7:17 a.m. in her pajamas. I went shopping!

I checked out the online registry for Gillian and Mike, high school friends who were getting married that weekend (hence the Milwaukee trip), and bought two things from their Williams-Sonoma registry. They live in Brooklyn and don't have a huge kitchen, and I know they're worried they won't be able to fit their gifts in the house. Since I was late in getting to the registry, though, I wasn't left with a lot of options. I have a feeling my bundt pan and pastry decorating set might not get much use for a few years yet.

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The other gift I bought is for Meg and Dan, who got married in May. Of.... um.... 2007. Oops. Tim and I couldn't go to their wedding because we had a concert in Rome the same weekend, and I was really bummed. I mean, obviously I was beyond thrilled to get a paid trip to Rome with my man, but I was honestly torn when I found out it was the same weekend as the wedding. I've been friends with them since college and also went to grad school with them, and they're really some of my favorite people. They were also around when Tim and I first started dating, and they put up with my whining about this annoying guy who kept taking the train to Boston just to see me. And they put up with me when I admitted I actually liked him.

For over a year I had been guiltily reminding myself that I owed them a wedding present. They are some of the most generous friends around, and I feel like such a tool that I kept putting it off... but the year was really tough with the move and so much traveling, and whenever I had a spare bit of money, it disappeared all too quickly. But living with my parents for a week left me with a little leftover cash, and Meg & Dan's present immediately came to mind.

They actually didn't register for gifts, opting to ask for donations to several charitable causes. I made a small donation in their honor but still wanted to get them something tangible, and I found the *perfect* thing (which I unfortunately couldn't help telling them about EIGHT MONTHS AGO): the gurgle pot!

Make sure your sound is on when you click this! source

Oh yes indeed, I'll admit it: this is one of those gifts I would love for myself. In a similar vein, Tim and I gave our friends Brian and Molly a gift certificate to Blik for their wedding this past winter.

One of Blik's freakin' awesome designs. Oh Blik, how I yearn to affix you to my paper-white walls...

Yup, we're that "quirky, artsy" couple who likes to stray from the registry. I'm convinced that Blik is one of the awesomest things ever and would TOTALLY buy some for our house if I had 60 extra bucks. The gurgle pot, though, strikes me as a true necessity. It's random enough that hipsters would love it, but it's also similar enough to this that even a Boston society girl might display it in her china cabinet.

What do you think? Do you strictly purchase gifts from friends' registries, or do you buy something more unique if you know the couple better?

Not a ringing endorsement.

The other day we took a trip to the Big Mall because Tim's hard drive conked out. Luckily, he had everything except iTunes backed up, but it still meant 2+ hours of driving and a sorely tempting trip to the mall for a shallow-pocketed shopaholic (that would be me).

Of course, I'm remarkably good at finding things to do in a mall even when I don't have money to spend. Some people call this window shopping - I prefer "simulated buying" (like filling up online "shopping carts" and closing Safari before I get my wallet out).

That's not me, though I know the exposed midriff had you confused. source

While we waited for his computer, I had the brilliant idea of stopping by a jeweler to check his ring size and suss out what a good width might be. Since my ring is handmade and pretty unique, I'd like to find something for Tim that's equally offbeat (Etsy to the rescue, yet again!), and we're not likely to find that at this mall. Still, since there's no shortage of jewelers at the Carousel Center, I figured we should just find one that didn't look too busy and have him try on a few rings.

We went into a chain jewelry store that didn't have any customers at the moment, and I told the woman outright that we were having a ring custom-made and that he just wanted to try on a few for reference. I realize this might seem really obnoxious, but she wasn't busy (it was a weekday afternoon), and if it were me, I'd rather know from the get-go that the customer wasn't planning to buy. Tim put on about 8 different rings and had the same range of responses to the widths of all of them: "........................." or [shrug] or :::sideways glance at me:::. Not exactly helpful. I kept prodding, saying things like, "Well, you could get

that width but not as bulky," and "Which fit feels the best?" just trying to gauge *any* kind of reaction. Nothing. And he and I could both see the saleswoman's annoyance that she wasn't going to make a sale.

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Tim has never worn a ring before, and he's concerned about it fitting badly and feeling weird and/or too heavy. The tricky part is that he wants it to look very irregular and handmade, so it might be hard to find something comfortable that has those characteristics. The rings he likes look like these, but in matte yellow gold and [I would imagine] about 5-6 mm wide:

sources: ring 1, ring 2

I think it would be good to ask the designer (we're honing in on one - more soon) to make the ring as thin as possible, with the inside being polished smooth and the outside texture taking care of making it look "substantial." The woman at the jewelry store warned that anything besides a comfort-fit band would create a callous, which freaked Tim out. Hmm. Now, I have a very, very faint callous from the irregular silver ring I wore for 10 years, and my engagement ring (definitely not comfort fit!) hasn't caused any problems so far. He'll probably have to take his ring off when he plays most of his instruments, anyway, so although it should be comfortable enough to play once in awhile, that's likely not too much of an issue. (N.B.: This resulted in a Wendy-instigated bickering session about how I think he'll leave it in his jeans pocket and put it through the wash.)

Do you have other ideas of how we can find Tim the perfect (not-too-expensive) ring that will satisfy all our criteria? 

To market, to market...

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I've made several references to our farmers' market theme, but I think it's high time I explain how it came to be!

Part 1: Davis, CA and Hong Kong

Tim and I actually set a date for the wedding before we were "officially" engaged. We had talked for a long time about getting married, had some discussions about wedding size and location, and even picked out a ring. After being together for (at that point) almost 6 years, I didn't want a long engagement. 

Also, because Tim is in academia and my work schedule changes so much, it was going to be hard to find a date that worked - and better to schedule it before more things came up. (I know, it's our wedding! but the nature of our work is such that it's really difficult to turn things down.) We both love fall, so that was that (and it worked out with the timeline); the date we chose ended up being the only one that fit into the schedule of my group. I did a bunch of online research, made some calls, went with Tim to visit the Fontainebleau, loved it, put down a deposit, and that was it. One venue visit. Done.

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Soon after that visit to the Fontainebleau, we had the incredible opportunity to go to Hong Kong with the very same ART production we were in after my accident. Tim had the ring sent to Davis, CA, where we had several days of pre-tour rehearsals. 

After a series of classic Tim-and-Wendy mishaps involving 1) his wanting to open the FedEx box in front of me in the hotel room (and leaving the bright-orange-wrapped box atop the TV for two days) and then 2) his taking me to a rose garden that was, uh.... dead, we visited the coolest farmers' market EVER - where he proposed! It was the perfect place, and honestly, the blips made it that much more special. I will reiterate, though, that he stuck the ring on top of the TV for two days. :::shaking head:::

The amazing amazing amazing carousel at the Davis Farmers' Market, right where Tim proposed; the two of us atop Victoria Peak in Hong Kong, two weeks later. Yeah... it was windy. I swear my hair is better than that.

[Above: the un-bling, custom-made by Todd Reed. Tim is pickier than I am when it comes to jewelry, and this designer's work is one of the few we've been able to agree on (and still, not unilaterally!). It's channel-set, multi-colored raw diamonds, with one princess cut stone. Very unique; kind of weird; very much our style. It was really important to me that Tim love the ring too, especially because he insisted on paying for the whole thing.]

Part 2: Back to Ithaca

When we got back from HK, I happened to have a really light week, and my brain was immediately held hostage by all things wedding. I had already contacted Chrissy about my dress, and in a rare [prolonged] moment of decisiveness, I found ALL our major vendors. One of them was Audrey Norberg of Plenty of Posies - she has a very popular stand at the Ithaca Market. I had fleetingly thought about doing my own flowers, but Audrey's prices are so ridiculously reasonable (in addition to her work being gorgeous, of course!) that I couldn't justify the stress of DIY flowers. She also grows all her own flowers unless you have a request for something specific like calla lilies, which I do want for my bouquet. Her farm is local, sustainable, and as organic as is practically possible for her.

Audrey's farm (source); one of her stunning creations (source)

I had already been toying with ideas of using fruit as decoration, things that could be repurposed after the wedding, that sort of thing... and I had a light bulb moment. Ithaca is home to an incredible farmers' market, and we got engaged at an equally amazing one all the way across the country! I'd never been too keen on "theming" the wedding, but this seemed original, a little quirky, and fun to plan. And since I don't want to go overboard with the theme, we can stick with the "rustic elegance" thing and just add a few market-related touches. So - I'm picturing chalkboards aplenty, baskets of fruit with the cupcakes at dessert, and a couple other little things. 

Martha's summery fruit baskets

I'm trying to think of a few more key ways to incorporate the theme in a way that's not too over-the-top. Could you help me out?

Save the Date! and the whales! and Ferris!

Our Save-the-Dates turned out so beautifully, and Stephanie from Stelie Designs has been an absolute dream to work with. I had a vision and a budget at the beginning of the process, and she has managed to exceed my expectations (that's a major understatement - and I had high expectations!) while staying within the budget. Thank you so much, Stephanie!!

That's Stephanie's original graphic, which has turned out to be inspiration for a lot of the wedding - autumn, Ithaca, apples, nature... you get the picture. We don't want the wedding to be formal but still want it to feel refined, so I thought the paper products should reflect that feeling. We went with a 4x6 postcard for environmental and financial reasons (and are doing the same for RSVPs). After many font searches (thanks, dafont.com!) and text tweaks, here's what we came up with:

blurry computer-screen version; close-up of cream recycled paper. Both images/designs property of Stelie Designs.

I was a little irked that the postage rates went up right before we sent these out (my fault... I was out of town forever), but let's be honest - we wouldn't have saved a big chunk of change. And as it turned out, we got to use these... which go great with our farmers' market theme!

A few perverted friends made comments about the stamps, and that's just fine with me. source

Get ready for the branch graphic to explode on the invitations!

How did you choose your invitations? Did you shop for them, DIY, or have them custom-made?

Baby's first DIY!

I have grand dreams of wedding craftiness: centerpieces/table number signs, pretty invitation mailing labels (my handwriting won't cut it, but calligraphy is just too expensive), throwies for the paper lanterns, out-of-town bags, table assignment board, cake toppers, chuppah, non-floral boutonnieres, and a few other things. I hope I'll be able to complete all of these, because I think they'll really add a lot to the meaning of the event - and, as a bonus, they might save some money. A little. And anyway, I'm going to make Tim do the throwies and the chuppah. Bwahahahaha! Also, since we have a farmers' market theme (more on that later, but I'm going for a sort of "rustic elegance" vibe), a lot of handmade touches will fit right in. Here are two pictures I found that I'd like to try semi-recreating:

centerpiece inspiration from The Knot; table assignment chalkboard - source unknown

Since I'm in a creative field, I sometimes get a little cocky and overestimate my abilities to create non-musical art. I do have a good eye for color and design, and I have very definite opinions. So that's helpful... at least in this instance! But the sad truth is that I'm klutzy, and I also have a tendency to rush through projects because I get nervous about how much time I'm "wasting" on them rather than practicing or cleaning or other "productive" things. My recently-implemented tactic (major props to my friend Amy) is twofold: start with the small/easy stuff, and more importantly, do things in small and manageable batches.

So far I've stained 25 mini chalkboards ($0.75 each at AC Moore for double-sided, wood-framed 5x7 boards) to put the table names/ numbers/ drawings on. (I think I'm going to enlist Tim, the resident cartoonist and doodler, to draw pictures of various fruits and veggies instead of having table numbers or written names. Is that too... um... corny? Ha! Sorry. Couldn't help myself. But really - too cutesy?) 

My other project a couple weeks back was to clean the labels off the 17 jelly jars I have so far (to put votives in), and wrapping the threaded tops with twine. I then tied the twine in a knot and finished it off by adding a thin purple-ribbon bow. I thought this would be really easy (and maybe it should have been), but my big ol' viola-player hands are not so dextrous when I'm trying to do delicate things. (Insert viola joke.) It was really hard to incorporate the bows into the twine without it unraveling and looking like a total mess, and I also had to figure out what length of ribbon to cut - I didn't want to skimp, but I also didn't want to cut off huge lengths in the end when I realized they were way too long. Little things, but it did take me a while to get into a rhythm. Here's the semi-finished product:

I had an idea for boutonnieres to incorporate drumstick allium and fiddleheads... cue "awwww." Unfortunately, those will both be out of season come October. So my options are:

 -order silk ones (kind of hard to find)

-use some of my grandma's bead flowers, some of which will also go into my headpiece

-use dried flora (just like Martha!)

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similar to my grandma's. source

I'm actually shamelessly copying Martha on the "base" of the boutonnieres, but since my sewing skills are slightly beneath those of my cat, I cast my line into the Etsy universe. User KollectionbyKetura answered my Alchemy wishes and is making the leaves for me! Even better, she lives just a few hours from me, so I don't have to feel too bad about the environmental toll of shipping something so tiny a long way.

If I don't succeed in incorporating the allium and fiddleheads into the boutonnieres, fret not... they can still exist in all their cheesy glory on the guys' ties! We're having custom ties made by (you guessed it) Etsy seller Jes Switaj, who said she'd be happy to create a new silkscreen with that design. 

Are any of you obsessed with personal touches but less talented at carrying them out yourself? How are you incorporating these details into your wedding?

10.5 is the loneliest number.

After my accident, I was dismayed to discover that my left foot (formerly a size 10, just like my right foot) had decided to become a size 10.5. Now, you know how when you turn a shoe over at a store to check the price, it usually also says something like "6-10; 11" too? That means the shoes come in half sizes from 6 to 10. And then skip to 11. For some reason, women who wear a 10.5 are SOL. Huh? I can more easily understand stopping at size 10, or even just offering whole sizes. But "6-10; 11" always confounded me, and now it makes me just plain cranky.

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Zappos, Piperlime, Endless, Nordstrom, and even--I'm a little embarrassed to say--the Bible-happy Sierra Trading Post (religion is cool; I just think it's a little weird they put it right in their mission statement... so to speak) have all provided me with the wondrous "search-by-size" option. And they have more 10.5s than a corrupt Olympic judge! (groan...)

Some of these sites even have a heel height search, which is pretty sweet. At least a few of them generously offer free shipping and/or free returns. Awesome! The sad fact is that I don't often find well-fitting shoes when I'm shopping in brick-and-mortar stores anymore, and I also usually can't buy cheap shoes because they're just so bad for my ankle. In the process of buying many, many new pairs of shoes to experiment with (all in the interest of my health, of course...), I've discovered that kitten heels and moderate wedges are best for me because they offer sturdy support, aren't too tall, and take a little pressure off the $#&^ ankle.

Since I have such a hard time finding shoes, they were accessory priority #1 after figuring out my dress. Alas, I'm still hunting for the perfect pair. I don't have too many style constraints - I can't, considering I have to worry about the heel height, type of heel (not too skinny), and of course, the size! European sizes seem to work well for me, too.

Here are a few pairs I found while browsing Zappos the other night:

beige - Bandolino; red - Stuart Weitzman; pewter and gold - La Canadienne. All from Zappos.

And here are some I discovered at Nordstrom.com:

cream, red, and purple - Linea Paolo; red with bow - Bruno Magli. All from Nordstrom.

I actually ordered the purple suede ones, which look like they'll very closely match the purple bridesmaids' dresses (more on that later) and the purple on my dress. The site says they run narrow, though, so I'd like to try on a few sizes. Unfortunately, Nordstrom doesn't offer free shipping for that small an order, so I ordered the 10.5 and am keeping my fingers crossed.

Do you have constraints that are making shoe (or other) shopping less fun than it should be?

Say heck yeah to the dress!

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The idea of a bridal salon has always scared the crap out of me. I see pictures like this and my heart starts beating really fast... and not in a good way.

I usually prefer shopping by myself, so the idea of having one person assigned to me kind of gave me hives. And since I'm several sizes larger than the usual sample sizes (I'm 5'10" and a size 16), I couldn't imagine it being exactly an ego boost having to hold the dresses up in front of me because they wouldn't fit over my hips.

I first started looking online at Watters dresses. For my brother and sister-in-law's wedding in November 2007, I wore a really nice bridesmaid dress from them that was almost too long! (Granted, I ordered an extra-long, but it was still pretty exciting.) Some of the dresses I was looking at:

all images from watters.com

You might notice a theme: A-line with straps and a V-type neckline. Nope, no strapless for me. I love the idea of being able to wear a normal bra... I just can't handle any other contraptions for more than a few hours. So that left me with far fewer options, and I extended my search to bridesmaids' dresses. These very simple silhouettes work much better for me, anyway - basically, I know what works for my body, and although I know I might discover something surprising if I went and tried on a zillion dresses, it just wasn't worth it to me.

But none of these dresses really did anything for me, besides make me feel like I was boring and predictable. :-(  I knew they'd look fine on me, but they just weren't "different" enough. The other factors have to do with my job: one, I have to dress formally a *lot* and... well... I'm kind of over looking awesome while feeling kind of uncomfortable; and two, if I'm going to have something custom-made that I love, why not get something I'll wear for a performance later on? I don't subscribe to the notion that I'll want to keep it "special" - I mean, if I play a concert wearing my wedding dress, won't that feel special?

Anyway, that's where offbeatbride.com stepped in and saved the day, introducing me to the ultra-fabulous Chrissy Wai-Ching. I went nuts.

I looked at some of her dresses (OK, stalked all of them for several weeks while e-mailing back and forth with Chrissy, all before Tim and I were officially engaged) and decided that the Pandereta would work best for me, but not strapless. 

source: indie bride's Wai-Ching repository on Kodak Gallery (requires password)

Then I thought her signature embroidery would look best on me if it were around the waist and bust, going all the way around - which made her also-signature back ties seem a little excessive for my simple vision.

ibid.

I decided that I'd like the embroidery to be really dense, with my favorite colors - dark shades of purple, red, and teal - and that I'd like kickpleats in the back with the same colors.

ibid.

Finally, I thought that with those colors, a darker, richer champagne color would look better for the base of the dress (as well as on my skin). Here's what Chrissy whipped up, but with the kickpleats sketched in the front so I could see them:

image/design property of Chrissy Wai-Ching

There have been a few more tweaks that I'll keep a surprise until I've had my fitting in July. I know it's far from traditional, but it's very me - much like my ring (coming soon). What do you think?

Do you shudder at the thought of bridal salons, was it the best shopping experience of your life, or do you fall somewhere in between? Please share your dress stories!

Our story, part 5: to the gorges and beyond

Fast forward: after living together for 5 years in Boston, both of us were feeling ready for a change. Both Tim and I were doing reasonably well in the Boston area, but that translates to a lot of driving... for us, 100,000+ miles on a shared car over 3 years. 

1: A car just like our noble little Saturn, but their hubcaps look a whole lot better. source

2: the Storrow 500 in Boston... an all-too-familiar sight. source

There's a very long story related to Tim's doctorate of musical arts from Yale, but suffice it to say that the process was frustrating and difficult. Because he was ABD but couldn't formally call himself that (part of said long story), he had a hard time even getting interviews for academic jobs. Finally, in fall 2006, he went to give his final recital and oral exams. He immediately found out he had passed and was told he'd receive his degree at commencement in May. YAY!

That smile says, "Finally!!!"

Over the winter, he started the process of applying for a few more percussion faculty jobs that had opened up around the country (there are only 2 or 3 a year, in a good year). One of these jobs was at Cornell University in Ithaca, NY (an Ivy League school, which was ideal for a smarty pants wanting to work with other smarty pantses). He was one of three candidates invited to interview on campus... but unfortunately, he felt like he completely bombed the interview and lecture-recital. In fact, he was so depressed about it that he took a detour to Cooperstown on the drive back to Boston.

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We both tried to forget about it (yeah right), but the next month was complete hell knowing that he might hear any day. He thought he had no chance but was still clinging to one little bit of hope. In April, I went to Amsterdam for a performance competition. An unfortunate turn of events led to my getting the flu and lying in bed the whole trip, waiting for him to Skype me. But one day, I was so bored that I couldn't wait for him to get home. I called his cell phone from Skype (terrible connection) when I knew he'd be driving home from work.

Once... no answer.

Twice... no answer.

Grrr.

Third time... "Wendy??"

me: "Hey man!"

him: "grblehasfkjds Ithaca?"

me: "........... huh?"

him: "pifenermkweq Ithaca???"

me (increasingly nervous and excited): "WHAT?"

him: "Do you want to move to Ithaca?"

[much screaming and crying]

Obviously, he'd been offered the job, and of course, I *did* want to move to Ithaca! It didn't take us long to decide on the next step - in the summer of 2007, we said goodbye to Jamaica Plain and Boston, heading to the gorges of Ithaca.

Hemlock Gorge

Have you had to make a big move for your partner's job, or did you opt for long-distance when something came up? Was the decision a no-brainer, or did you agonize over it?

Our story, part 4: Why I'm pretty darn sure he'll take good care of me when I'm old

After hearing that my accident was worse than we'd originally thought, Tim hopped on a bus from Boston to North Adams and drove his woozy girlfriend's rental car to Mass General Hospital in Boston. 

Vicodin... that's some serious stuff.

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I will preface the next section by saying that I ultimately had a very good experience at MGH, but the first few hours there, with several very cocky residents, left something to be desired.

Multiple times, they asked why I had gone to a podunk hospital instead of going to MGH right away. (Um... because the accident didn't happen here? And they didn't realize how bad it was because the equipment is flawed? And, um, by the way, the accident didn't happen here?) The young guy who seemed to be in charge was obviously very excited about the power he had and was doing everything he could to impress his underlings. At one point, he couldn't be bothered to find paper, so he drew a [very rudimentary and unhelpful] picture of my ankle on the cloth sheet. With ballpoint pen.

Anyway, hours after that anatomy lesson, I finally got my scans. It turned out that in addition to multiple fractures in my tibia and fibula, I had completely shattered my talus. (In fact, each time I visited my surgeon the following year, his version of the verb got worse: shattered, crushed, pulverized, turned into smithereens... no joke.)

The next day, I woke up from with 2 stainless steel plates and 15 screws (some titanium, some stainless) that are in my leg to this day. The implants still give me some trouble - this was over 2 years ago - and it's possible that at some point I'll have to have more surgery to remove them and maybe even (PLEASE no!) fuse my ankle. Interestingly enough, I do not set off airport metal detectors, which is pretty surprising given that they're millimeters from the surface of my skin and I can feel them when I touch my leg! I have to say, it doesn't exactly increase my faith in the metal detector technology.

my x-rays

I was on crutches and had a giant Aircast boot for 3 months, and then I used a cane for another 2-3 months. As far as learning to walk again, well... I conveniently forgot that it would be an issue until it actually was one. For some reason (sometimes referred to as denial), I was sure I'd be running up and down stairs and training for my first marathon within days. Um... yeah. Damn, that was hard - especially stairs. They're still tough. 

The Boot.

It's been a really, really long process - physically, of course, but especially emotionally. If Tim hadn't been there for me, I don't know how I would have gotten through it. In an incredible stroke of good luck (or at least karma), we were working together at the American Repertory Theater for two months, so the logistics were much easier than if we'd both been driving our one car all over the Boston area to do our teaching and gigging. Tim gave 

me door-to-door service everywhere, carried all my stuff (there was and always is a lot of it), made sure I was comfortable in my seat wherever we were going, and was always checking up on me. Then when we got home, he carried all his own stuff and mine up 3 flights of stairs, changed my bandages, hand-washed the special socks I had to wear with the Aircast, made me food, helped me bathe, massaged my ankle and leg... you name it, he did it - some just for 3 months, some ongoing. Not the helping me bathe, most of the time. :-D  He did all the grocery shopping and laundry, too (there was no laundry in our building, and we usually share both those duties), until we discovered grocery delivery and wash & fold! Did I mention this went on for over 3 months?

Of course, he had his share of grumpiness about it, and we both had to put up with a fair bit of depression surrounding the whole thing. It was really hard to keep everything in perspective, and he was good about gently reminding me that it could have been unspeakably worse, while still commiserating over how much it sucked. A lot of people who didn't see me every day had no idea how bad the injury was. Some people were and still are really wonderful about asking me how I'm doing with it, but Tim had to live with it every day and still does.

He's been my biggest cheerleader through the whole thing and is always trying to get me to work harder at making it better, still remaining totally considerate of the ups and downs. He's so sensitive about it, always running to my defense when someone forgets or doesn't know there's something wrong with me. Even though I already knew he was the guy for me, the way he took care of me sealed the deal.

The day I got rid of my crutches, Heidi-style, we celebrated by going to a Red Sox (my team)/Yankees (his) game at Fenway. I might even grudgingly admit that maybe, just once, he karmically deserved to have his team win.

Ehhhh.... never mind.  source

When did you know your sig. oth. was the one you'd grow old with? Did you grow to feel this way, or was there a specific moment that told you?

Our story, part 3: stage diving, or the end of the ballet career I never had*

In March 2006 I was part of a week-long residency at a museum/theater space in western MA, rehearsing and preparing to play a newly-written opera. One fateful night, before the dress rehearsal started, I put my viola on my seat and went backstage to go to the bathroom. Apparently there was an announcement that the tech guys were going to run through light cues, but there wasn't an intercom backstage, or it wasn't working, or something. Anyway, when I came back out, the theater was pitch-black... guess they were testing their full blackout. :-)  In the commotion of trying to get back to my seat and waiting for them to turn the lights back on, I stepped around what I thought was the conductor's podium... but it was actually the edge of the stage.

Now, this was not your normal stage. The musicians were sitting atop a sort of "reverse pit" that stood six feet above the four-foot stage itself. I stepped into the void and fell once, rolling onto the stage, and fell again to the floor. The whole time, I was yelling, "oh my god oh my god oh my god," and the scene turned to complete pandemonium. People were swearing a blue streak (amazingly, *not* me) and screaming, "turn the *^%(^ lights on! someone just fell!" In a rare moment of lucidity, I held my arms to my chest to protect them, and I ended up falling on my back with my neck cradled by three giant spotlights. Coupled with the moments afterwards, when I saw my friends and colleagues looking down at me with ashen faces (that memory still makes my heart stop), it was the most frightening moment of my life.

It kind of felt like this. source

I'm pretty sure I didn't pass out, or at least not for long. My head kind of hurt, but so did my elbow - and since my priorities are completely out of whack because my arms = my job, I kept flexing my fingers, trying to make sure my hands still worked. I didn't even think to look at my ankle, which was in a big suede boot and therefore certainly not messed up.

Never thought I'd find myself sourcing from here, but if the shirt fits...

Soon, I ended up at the very small local hospital near the museum. The nurses there were amazing about getting me in right away, letting my friends be with me in the room, and just generally making things less scary. They took X-rays, set my broken ankle, and told me I'd be OK to play the performance the next night. Setting it was excruciatingly, horrendously painful - and I'd soon find out why.

At 7 the next morning, I was awakened from my Vicodin-induced slumber by a different doctor from the one I'd seen the night before. He told me that X-rays unfortunately can't capture most of the talus, which is the bone "inside" the ankle that basically allows the joint to move. They had already seen that my tibia and fibula were broken in several places, which is obviously bad but still relatively straightforward to treat. When he looked at the corner of the X-ray, he thought that something might be wrong with my talus. Actually, he was virtually certain, and told me I should go back to Boston right away for CT scans and probable surgery. I made dozens of phone calls - to my parents, Tim (who had been playing a show the night before and not heard about it until very late), and an orthopedic surgeon who is a friend of my parents - trying to convince them that I was fine and could play the opera that night. I could go back to Boston right away the next day! I'd be fine!

The doctor friend was the one who put his foot down (so to speak) and said, "Look. If they're telling you they won't do the surgery at the local hospital, you know this has to be bad."

Next up: why I'm telling you this.

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*And for that, the world is very thankful.

Our story, part 2: getting caught.

A month after we'd met, I had a concert in New York that I was unbelievably nervous about. Tim wrote hilarious, encouraging e-mails to me at least once a day to inspire my lackluster practice routine, and I began to get kind of excited about playing the concert. He promised to come down to NYC from New Haven to see me play.

What a nice platonic friend, right? I mean, he KNEW I wasn't interested. (To be fair, I wasn't displaying any of these signs.)

After the concert, we went out with a friend of my parents,  who happened to be in town. Even though Tim and I "weren't dating," the friend told my dad that I seemed very happy with my new boyfriend. Um........... excuse me?

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Upon having a not-that-close friend see the connection between us, my eyes were duly opened to a few things: 1) I was being stupid, 2) Tim was treating me really well despite our "not dating" status, and I was treating him really badly in return, and 3) well... I was being stupid.

We soon made it official. Over the next year, Tim traveled back and forth between Boston and New Haven, making the full move to Boston (five-octave marimba and all) in June 2003.

This puppy lived in our dining room for 5 years. Now it has its own room, with lots of drums to keep it company!

In the next chapter of our history: stage diving (alone).

Did you keep a list of characteristics your Perfect Human would have? Were those expectations, like mine about a Jewish non-musician, thrown out somewhere along the way?

Our story, part 1: The thrill of the chase?

These are a little different from the instruments the quartet was playing.

So how did a buxom loudmouth and a skinny, shy guy fall for each other, anyway?

After my move to Boston, I quickly befriended a group of Harvard and Brandeis composition students, joining them on Tuesdays for their "Beer Night" at a Cambridge pub. One of these composers, Ken, had written a piece for a percussion quartet from Yale that was being performed in the middle of March. Before Ken mentioned the concert to me, I actually saw an ad for it in a different concert program and thought to myself, "...hmm... percussionists... maybe there'll be cute boys!" (In my experience, percussionists are often boys and often cute. Broad generalization, perhaps, but it worked for me.)

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After the concert, a large group of people made its way to the Hong Kong (a dubious Cambridge landmark) for mediocre Chinese food and highly potent "scorpion bowls." Unbeknownst to me, this quiet guy named Tim (a member of the percussion quartet, whom I'd just met) had told the rest of his group that he'd met a tall, dark stranger and would catch a train back to New Haven the next day.

I have to interrupt this story to mention this: knowing Tim as well as I do now, I cannot believe that he was so forward. I'm still very flattered and slightly dumbfounded every time I think about it.

Anyway, over drinks at the Hong Kong and a long date the next day (Tim attended a particularly painful concert of mine), I tried to make it clear to him that I wasn't interested. This, of course, was complicated by the fact that I... um... was. Thus began a difficult month during which Tim spent absurd sums of money on train trips to Boston, initially under the pretense of visiting Ken and another mutual friend - until I caught on. 

The Timmy Train

Unfortunately, his efforts were thwarted by my telling him I didn't think we should get involved. After all, upon moving to Boston, I had signed up for JDate and gone out with (as Tim now refers to them) JLawyer, JDoctor, JArchitect, and JCollegeProfessor. They were all bum dates, but I was still convinced I would meet and fall in love with a Jewish non-musician. Hmm. Obviously, I had a very, very hard time coming to terms with the fact that I really liked this drummer guy.............. despite the fact that we talked on the phone for several hours every night, and there was an obvious connection.

Up next: how I stopped being stupid.

Were you ever in denial about being in love with your mister or missy? Did s/he surprise you with hidden personality traits... like unadulterated brazenness? ;-)

Go East, young woman!

Klode Beach, where I spent many evenings avoiding homework

I grew up in a suburb of Milwaukee, WI, on the shores of beautiful Lake Michigan. My family is very active in the music community there, and I guess there was never much of a question that I would play an instrument. I started taking violin lessons when I was 6 and, as my family puts it, "evolved" to the viola when I was 10. From the time that I switched, viola has been a huge part of my life and has since become my career. 

That's not to say there haven't been bumps along the way, mostly having to do with practicing (from age 6 to... um... 29 and beyond). But I really love playing and have been very fortunate to enjoy my work most of the time. I also have a deep appreciation for the freedom and flexibility of my schedule, and I remember that every time I have to wake up early! I've also always been interested in politics, social action, and writing, and over the years I have worked to find ways of integrating these things into my life, musical or otherwise.

After I finished my undergrad at Oberlin, I took a year off to catch my breath. I spent half of that school year in Oberlin, taking lessons and working. After that, though, I felt like it was time to get out of the small-town bubble and see how life in the big city would treat me, knowing I wanted to start a master's program in the fall. Musicians often choose their schools based on a particular teacher, and I had my heart set on one at the New England Conservatory in Boston. Without knowing whether I would be accepted to study with her, I found a

 6-month sublet, had one very small gig lined up thanks to a friend, and took off for Beantown in January 2002.

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That little gig ended up being very fortuitous, since I met a few people there who were kind enough to refer me to other people. One thing led to another, and I soon had a reasonably active performing career in Boston. In retrospect, I can't believe how lucky I was and how disastrous moving there could have been, but I think my idealism worked in my favor that time! I also practiced a LOT and was accepted by the aforementioned teacher, and oh! I just happened to meet one pretty wonderful guy along the way. But you'll have to wait for that story.  :-)

Have you ever made a move to a new city without a clue as to what you were going to do there?